Yeah. I just don't really have the time to write. I'll say it. I love blogging, but it is becoming increasingly difficult to find a time to lasso my thoughts much less plot them out in a readable format :)
I could tell you all about my kids and how much they are growing, or the funny things they say, or how much we love our life in Longview. I was hoping to tell you about a new job, but as of right now, I am still waiting to hear. I am so ready to be working full-time. I love my kids, but being around them nearly 24/7 just doesn't complete me. I know that a relationship with the Savior is the only one who can fill the holes in my life, etc., but I go nuts around my kids quite often. I don't know anything about current events, and I feel guilty if I try to take time for myself or if I don't get all the housework done. I can only accomplish one thing a day. Today, for instance, it was a shower. So yes, I got a shower. But the laundry is not done, the house is filthy, and I didn't get dinner made before I had to leave. I feel so guilty about not being able to do things that need to done to keep our house running smoothly. And really, I just want to feel like an educated woman. I want to go back to work. I am excited to feel this way, but I also feel that evil word: guilty. Guilty that I don't want to be around my children more and guilty that I can't be happy at home full time. But trust me on this...the mental hospital is around the corner for me if I don't get out of my house!!!
I would love to have that elusive thing: balance. I want to get back into shape. But that requires time and a diligence that is difficult for me to find. I want to eat healthy, but frankly, I hardly remember to eat as it is, so I just eat some goldfish and granola bars when I hear my stomach growl. I want to feel like a contributor to the professional world. I have a skill set that needs to be utilized. So friends, please keep me in your thoughts. I want this job so badly! If it doesn't work out, I desire the peace to feel that God has me in his hand and will only provide the best things for me. If that means something else--I want to embrace it. I hope that the rest of you are doing well, and are able to find and add discipline to your life this Lenten season as we await the celebration of our Lord's resurrection! I can't wait to say "Alleluia, alleluia" again!
1 comment:
Oh sweet friend,
I know what you mean about falling short. So much of the time I feel as though I am not doing the very best I can for my family and the nasty guilt sneaks up on me too. Just remember, sometimes just getting the one thing done is enough.
Love you girl
T
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